tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-11-08:/Because life is!MokoFeed2009-11-08T15:13:03+01:00tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-10-25:/2009/10/25/pink-blue-lilac-7238643/puredawn2009-10-25T08:31:54+01:002009-10-25T08:31:54+01:00 <p>Judging by the light, I think my laptop must update its own clock. That's good to know, as it would probably take me an hour to work out how to change it manually! I seem to have lost my ability to have great success with technology; there are certain things that still, inside my head, cry out "Pink Job," and "Blue Job." I, as a lady, do the pink jobs and.....O yes, I, as the singleton, also do the blue jobs. I think I need to rebrand all jobs as "Lilac," and get on with it!</p> <p>Of course, in theory, my 18 year old son, could take on some of the Blue ones. From time to time I try to remind him that he is "The man of the house," and has certain jobs that he should get on with. Unfortunately for me, he sees his main responsibility in life as battling away at World of Warcraft, and strolling into town several nights a week to meet his mates. There is a fortnightly excursion to Job Centre Plus to fit in, too.</p> <p>He has now decided on a career. He would like to train to become a chef. He can use the microwave, and knows how to unwrap pizza and place it in the oven. His announcement stunned me into silence. I am, however, supportive of such a plan. Those who yearn to be pilots and firemen had no previous experience, after all. Or brain surgeons. </p> <p>It is hard, these days, to decide on a career. I must also find a paid occupation. My youngest child will be 10 next year. After 20 years of parenthood, the thought of finding paid employment is daunting. I have kept myself extremely busy in the interim. I currently spend huge amounts of time volunteering at my girls' school, both as a Governor and in the classroom. I must translate all those skills into an exciting CV.</p> <p>Even having had a "good education," that seems a lifetime away. And of course, the current climate reduces the options. </p> <p>I am currently working on a new vision board, my cosmic shopping list. I shall put myself on there, happily employed, and my son, in checked trousers and pristine white tunic...the brilliant thing about it, is that it will work. Happy times ahead! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/10/25/pink-blue-lilac-7238643/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-10-01:/2009/10/01/first-time-in-ages-7076154/puredawn2009-10-01T10:02:26+02:002009-10-01T10:02:26+02:00 <p>Well, I haven't been on here in so long, I wasn't sure if I had the right address A little like visiting an old friend, wandering up to the door and tentatively knocking, lest they may have moved.</p> <p>My birth father did that, when he came looking for me after 24 years. He just knocked on a door, hoping my great-aunt still lived in the same house. He left his details, asked her to pass them on to me, and returned to Lincoln. I don't think he made the journey to kent just for that, and was just passing. Even so, he can't have remembered the address, or he would have written a letter.</p> <p>Things are a little strange round here. There have been some blasts from the past, to say the least. </p> <p>Sometimes, when "bad" things happen, we hide from them..Even with tthe hiding, they're still there, until we make peace with them, heal from them, and let something else in. So, at the moment, that is what is happening. RESOLUTION. FORGIVENESS.</p> <p>Not always easy, but worth it in the long run, I am sure. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/10/01/first-time-in-ages-7076154/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-08-19:/2009/08/19/coffee-shops-6759356/puredawn2009-08-19T14:47:37+02:002009-08-19T14:47:37+02:00 <p>I was just in Tchibo in town. They have a coffee shop and shop shop combined, which is closing down- so that's a good idea then- so I popped in and bought a trivet. Actually, it's 2 trivets in one: a circle with a Mary Quant style flower cut out of it, and a Mary Quant style flower that slots into the cut out. I already have a trivet, but it's a little warped so £2 spent on a pair of new ones is not entirely wasted.<br> A little boy was wandering around saying, very loudly, "Mum, are we having lunch here?" over and over again, to which she replied, every time, "No, we're not." Eventually a male employee broke off his dealings with another customer, "NO, YOU'RE NOT HAVING LUNCH HERE!"<br> with customer service like that, maybe it's no surprise they're closing down.</p> <p>I went up the road to Costa. They're doing a special: any drink and a sandwich for under a fiver. After the week I've had, I thought such a meal deal a suitable treat, and watched while the "Barista," as they call them, put vanilla syrup, ice cubes, cold milk, frothed milk and an espresso into my latte glass. How on earth would you come to invent such a thing? My constant query is, however, why do they then arrange everything in such a way as to render the napkin useless? It becomes a filler in a sandwich, layered like this: saucer, napkin, cup, or plate, napkin, sandwich, or plate, napkin, chocolate tiffin. I had to race a couple of teenagers for the corner table with a plump leather chair; they had no food, I had my tray of £4.99 meal deal. By the time I squished into my seat there was iced vanilla latte soaking my napkin. </p> <p>Another thing! When you buy tea and they leave the bag in the cup, what are you supposed to do with the tea-bag when all is sufficiently brewed? If you put it on your saucer, every time you take a sip, tea drips everywhere! </p> <p>My eldest daughter had an interview at a rival coffee establishment. She had to do a couple of hours practical assessment, and was horrified to be asked to "make cream." They make it from powder. It isn't actual cream whipped to a delicate frothiness, it is reconstituted white powder.I haven't summoned up courage to go in there again, though I suppose I'll get over it, just like I overcame the rumours about McMilkshakes containing chicken fat and there being whole rats in with the bearded man's chicken. At the moment my children are desperate to go to buy McMeals, just for the coke glasses. We have two one in pink and one in turquoize, and very pretty they are too.</p> <p>Now, I must go and try out my new trivet. I may bake some scones. To make a really elegant tea-time spectacle I shall serve them up on napkins, perhaps...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/08/19/coffee-shops-6759356/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-08-19:/2009/08/19/the-joy-of-mothering-teens-6757541/puredawn2009-08-19T10:51:06+02:002009-08-19T10:51:06+02:00 <p>Everybody warned me about the teenage years! When my children were younger people looked at me with sympathy and horror while saying:"I wouldn't want to be you when they're all teenagers!"</p> <p>I have 6 daughters and a son. I wasn't trying for a boy until I got one, he is actually number 2 in the line-up, concieved on the night of Harry Hill's ddad's funeral. This is, I might add, nothing to do with Harry Hill, who I knew only a little, and he couldn't remember my name, greeting me cheerfully as "Patrick's Girlfriend!" I was no longer Patrick's girl-friend, either. I was there with my father-in-law, and my husband joined me that evening. Anyway, that was a little less than 19 years ago, and a little off the point, but there you go.</p> <p>One daughter is now safely through the teens, aged 20 and 2 months. My youngest is temperamental, but only 8 years of age. The rest, a neat bundle of 4 squeezed between the numbers 10 and 16, are caught in their hormones' full flow. </p> <p>My 16 year-old has experienced some problems. She has bruises on her wrists after an episode of drunken disorderliness which, it now transpires, one of my cheques, with a forged signature on it, was paid into her bank account. I have retrieved most of the money- she'd only spent £100, a quarter of the amount- having explained that if not either I, or the bank, would have to involve the police. Mainly, she denies doing it, and certainly feels no need to apologise.</p> <p>The arresting officer in the drunken incident was keen to point out that she's obviously very angry. My eldest daughter thinks I should call the police and throw her out. But to what fate? As a mother, I love her unconditionally and would rather try to lift her out of this condition than plunge her further into it by washing my hands of her. Whatever she has become is a result of everything she has experienced in her life. I am the only parent actively involved in her life. She has had a Dad and a step-dad who seem to point the finger at me over this, an accusation I refuse to accept. I have imperfections, I share the "blame," but feel this wouldn't be happening if she had a decent, hands-on, father-figure. </p> <p>Whatever happens, I always see the best in people. I once read "The Journey," by Brandon Bays, which sees everyone as having a shiny diamond at their centre, which disappears through life, covered up by layers of "dirt" accumulated as a result of life's events. Every negative occurrence becomes a black mark on that diamond. So, as a parent, I feel it is my job to clean away the dirt, or help her to, so she can achieve her brightest potential. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/08/19/the-joy-of-mothering-teens-6757541/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-07-20:/2009/07/20/school-6550744/puredawn2009-07-20T07:04:58+02:002009-07-20T07:04:58+02:00 <p>Well, it's Monday, sunshiny and lovely. For one of my girlies it's an emotional few days, as she finishes primary school on Wednesday. Her next school will be fantastic, but all her friends are going elsewhere. I'm sure she'll be fine, but I know we'll both need boxes of tissues at the Leavers' Assembly.</p> <p>Still, onward and upward!</p> <p>xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/07/20/school-6550744/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-06-17:/2009/06/17/woman-seeking-6322820/puredawn2009-06-17T10:43:56+02:002009-06-17T10:43:56+02:00 <p>Sometimes, even with understanding, dispondency falls like a grey cloud, hovering a few inches above our heads, threatening rain. I look up at my cloud, tempted to shake my fist at it, scare it away; the trouble is, the cloud likes that, it thrives on it so, far from retreating, it absorbs the frustration and puffs itself up in defiance.</p> <p>In many ways, I have a full life. However, there often seems to be something missing. I love my family, my home, my friends, my voluntary work....but, it is the natural human condition to crave a soul-mate, a companion, a lover. In my current circumstances, there are few opportunities to find one. Most of my male friends are attached and are, to be frank, just friends. Most new people I meet, when they hear that I am an independent Mum to 7, though 3 of them are now fairly self sufficient, glaze over and make their excuses. Maybe they think I'm after a replacement Dad for my childre, which is not the case. Maybe they think I will want more, which is also untrue. What I would like is someone to spend time with, to go out with, for walks or theatre trips. I am not on the lookout for someone to move in and play happy families. </p> <p>So, how does one go about finding such a person? </p> <p>Having read The Secret and Abraham Hicks, even Paul McKenna, I know what techniques should work. In the short term, they do, but seeing through the veil can take a lot of strength at times. I visualise myself in all sorts of wonderful situations with the perfect companion, and positive things happen. However, a slight rejection, even from someone you know isn't the right person anyway, can be tough. So, I return to my visualisations and affirmations: "I am happy, loved and honoured by my kind, faithful, healthy soulmate," was recommended to me. It feels good to say it. </p> <p>Another tip is to bring what you desire into the present. Instead of <em>wanting</em>, have gratitude for already <em>having</em>. It sounds a little wierd, but it works. It works quickly with things I'm not too bothered about. Sometimes, striving too haard can actually push things away.</p> <p>Also, as we are in a group consciousness, I would like you all to visualise me now, happy, loving and loved by the man of my dreams.</p> <p>Thankyou </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/06/17/woman-seeking-6322820/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-06-08:/2009/06/08/the-joys-6260659/puredawn2009-06-08T08:04:16+02:002009-06-08T08:04:16+02:00 <p>I was rather taken aback this morning, upon checking my Facebook, to see that my status declared that I "need sex!" One if the delights of having teenagers in the house, I suppose, the gleeful tampering with status that occurs when you leave the room is always a source of great entertainment.<br> Fortunately, this interference occurred very late last night, so few friends will have seen it. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/06/08/the-joys-6260659/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-06-07:/2009/06/07/saturday-6253785/puredawn2009-06-07T08:36:39+02:002009-06-07T08:36:39+02:00 <p>It is a relief to sea the sunshine; during the night I woke to hear heavy rain outside. The girls' Dad is coming today, and it will be good to be able to play outside, maybe at a park or the beach. On rainy days there are less options, which cost money. </p> <p>Yesterday we went into town. One of the girls has a birthday party to attend this afternoon, so gift shopping was required. With a couple of their friends in tow,we headed out. At one point we were thirsty and, inevitably, hungry, so Ro asked if we could go to SHADES in the centre of the Arndale. My ex-husband irreverently calls in CODGERS, as it is frequented predominantly by old folk. I was in there once when Ro was tiny. Confined to her puschair, hot and bothered, she screamed and screamed. I left her at the table with my older girls and joined the queue to get her another drink to keep her quiet while we were still eating. Just as I was paying the waitress serving me complained to her colleague about the screaming child, saying she wished people with babies would stay at home.<br> "Actually she's mine!" I declared, causing the young woman to turn fuschia with embarrassment. People can be so quick to criticise without thinking.<br> Yesterday, at that same counter, I was trying to give our order to the girl behind the till.<br> "Pardon!" she said. I repeated the request. She still could not hear. There was a man beside her frothing milk. He stopped momentarily, long enough for me to start speaking and be drowned out once more. I took a breath, as did my elder daughter, and the two of us turned and looked at him, expectantly. He looked sheepish, and turned off his frother for a minute.<br> It is wonderful to see how much communication is non-verbal. For that reason, I don't really like talking on the phone. I like to have eye-contact and body language to read.<br> Over time, I seem to become worse at mask-wearing. To my children's amusement my face frequently gives away my feelings. Being true to myself is probably a good thing, though I'm sure I can remember being a master of disguise where feelings are concerned.<br> My chidren have tried to develop that skill. In a large family it can be hard to get to the bottom of things. Face reading can quite often work. Once, body language had given away the culprit, but she was still denying it, so I resorted to the the use of a dowsing crystal. When it spun in circles over her head she was mortified and confessed immediately!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/06/07/saturday-6253785/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-06-06:/2009/06/06/bang-bang-6248358/puredawn2009-06-06T10:15:13+02:002009-06-06T10:15:13+02:00 <p>Well, it's Saturday, and I seem to be going to town with some little girls. It's a little cooler today, so it should be fine.</p> <p>It's been a strange week. I had a dream on Monday that my youngest daughter was in an accident and put on a stretcher. She and I went to the Harbour on Tuesday, and I was nearly over the top with caution; "Don't get too close to the edge!" "Stand back!"</p> <p>On Wednesday afternoon, I went into a bit of a swoon around lunchtime, feeling really down and sleepy. When I arrived at school, my daughter nwas brought to me, having been sick. She looked a little white, and whispered to me that she'd been hit on the head with a football, which had then knocked her backwards onto the ground. It sounds like she blacked out.</p> <p>So, though not on a stretcher, I took her to hospital to be checked out. My reaction to the dream had been to try to avert accidents, Sleeping Beauty style. Possibly, if something has already "been written" we can't stop it, but we can affect it. We can throw light at something. I suspect my afternoon wooziness was healing energy being sent her way and, since the dream, I had also been praying for her with my thoughts, providing a cushion to prevent serious damage.</p> <p>I always try to heed my dreams, for I believe they are giving us messages. There is often a theme to them, so that if something is not immediately picked up, it gradually dawns on me. I reinforce this through meditation, and looking for other signals in life, the magical synchronicity. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/06/06/bang-bang-6248358/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-06-03:/2009/06/03/blog-6229534/puredawn2009-06-03T12:55:29+02:002009-06-03T12:55:29+02:00 <p>Some time ago I lost the will to blog. I would sign in, read a few blogs, turn to mine and sit by the blank white box, wondering what to do. There seems to have been a form of writers block.</p> <p>I suppose I was afraid of having nothing new to say. Also, I was aware of prying eyes. A couple of years ago I seemed to acquire something akin to an internet stalker, who read my blog, and followed me home. It was a strange experience.</p> <p>I toyed with the idea of beginning a new, more anonymous blog. However, I may renew my efforts here. I'll see. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/06/03/blog-6229534/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-05-21:/2009/05/21/starnge-dreams-6150571/puredawn2009-05-21T07:45:35+02:002009-05-21T07:45:35+02:00 <p>Morning again!<br> I actually awaoke at 5, and battled the daylight back into the land of nod. Strange dreams of journeys have been intriguing in the extreme. In one, my friend and I were in a camper van, driving towards what looked like an Ancient City, constructed mainly of white marble. We stopped, and began to walk, though he was naked, with a large dog on a lead. His unexpected nudity amused me, and the alarm cut in, jerking me swiftly awake. It follows a trend, but I think I need too ask for more daytime signs to see what it might mean.<br> In another, I was in France, with friends, to attend a spiritual fair. While there, I visited a church. Some of the congregetion were wearing inflatable tanks of goldfish on their heads!<br> So, it will slowly dawn on me, I am sure. I must fit in time to meditate after my meeting this morning, to see if something becomes more apparent. Maintaining spiritual practices in my busy, busy life is, for me, essential, but a definite juggling act! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/05/21/starnge-dreams-6150571/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-05-20:/2009/05/20/yesterday-6149841/puredawn2009-05-20T23:42:39+02:002009-05-20T23:42:39+02:00 <p>I met up with a friend yesterday, for lunch. We used to be very close, but went through some traumatic times. It sometimes feels that the only way to break free of the pain of the memories is not to meet, lest the inevitable conversation recommences and we reawaken the old energy. Perhaps it was fortunate that she brought a friend with her, a shield for both of us.</p> <p>Whenever tricky subjects arose, we reorted to a special code. Our companion must have thought we were mad!</p> <p>It is natural to talk things out, to share problems, getting them off our chest. However, the verbal post mortem keeps it alive. Often now, if I am aware of a painful situation, I allow myself to experience the pain, and then acknowledge the cause, blessing it, admitting gratitude for the lesson, and sending it on its way. Dwelling on such things, keeping them close, causes dis-ease. Releasing it is healthier for mind, body and spirit.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/05/20/yesterday-6149841/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-26:/2009/03/26/happy-memories-5836267/puredawn2009-03-26T14:21:36+01:002009-03-26T14:21:36+01:00 <p>At the weekend I returned to the town where I was born and drove along the main A229, which runs through the middle. Along the way, certain landmarks caught my eye, and brought very clear memories of life there. I drove past the office where my mother briefly worked, the bus stop where Teresa joined us and left us at the top of Linton Hill, the turning that led to the house we lived in at the turn of the millennium, my favourite of all our homes. Fortunately, the happy memories leave the strongest impressions for, despite ups and downs, each memory made me smile.</p> <p>Happiness is such a powerful emotion, and it keeps us positive and creative; we achieve our dreams when we are joyful. One of our greatest lessons to learn is to maintain joy, even if we have seemingly insurmountable obstacles ahead of us. Like attracts like. If we feel down, we pull heavy thoughts, feelings and events towards us that push us down further. A joyful heart flies, and attracts more joy to us. Even if something "negative" crosses my path, I take a deep breath and think of something happy to dislodge the low feeling. Somehow, having learned to do that, life seems to run smoothly and happily.</p> <p>In those low times, digging out the cheery memories can be amazingly uplifting. Remembering alone is fantastic, or digging out the photo albums and videos lets the whole family join in.</p> <p>I have pictures of me taken last year, when I was unwell. Looking at them now, I can see a clear difference between then and now. Part of me wonders whether to bin them, or to hold onto them to remind me of how much I am improved. I had an undiagnosed thyroid problem which is now being treated. I shall probably hold onto them for a while, as I can feel pleased I am now far healthier. If they start to make me feel bad, out they will go!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/26/happy-memories-5836267/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-20:/2009/03/20/life-s-great-adventure-5795326/puredawn2009-03-20T15:36:05+01:002009-03-20T15:36:05+01:00 <p>Change is one of life's few constants. We are, after all, on a journey and,though we may choose our routes and speeds to a certain extent, the start and end points are more or less fixed. Even if we choose to sit down, things continue to move around us.<br> This year, my eldest daughter is planning to leave home to go to drama school. It is what she has always dreamed of, and I support her whole-heartedly, though there are days when I feel a tinge of sadness. What will life be like without her here, not even local? Will she ever return here to live? Will life ever be the same again?<br> Of course, nothing ever stays the same and, with the right attitude, every change is for the better, helping us all to grow and achieve.<br> Similarly, another of my girls is leaving Primary School and starting Secondary this year. I sat in assembly this morning, watching her on stage, reading out House Point totals, and then singing with the rest of the children, all so excited and happy and,yet again, felt a slight sting behind the eyes at knowing they will all be leaving this behind as they enter the more "grown-up" environment of year 7.<br> Also, although she is very happy with the school she has been allocated, she is the only one from the Primary school going there, so she will be away from friends she has had since she was at nursery.<br> She, too, will be learning to adjust to grand changes.<br> For me, I know I react better to change, and its stresses, when I am well-rested, full of healthy food, active and connected, something I achieve through meditation. Also, distraction in the form of creativity, or in doing something relaxing and joyful, makes everything in life feel much better. My next task is to relay these skills to my daughter although, even with all that preparation, there will probably still be some tears shed on her last day.<br> Still, these changes are great adventures, keeping us all active, growing and learning, even excited. We shall, I know, survive them, relish them, and be smiling at the end. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/20/life-s-great-adventure-5795326/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-19:/2009/03/19/that-still-small-voice-of-calm-5786055/puredawn2009-03-19T09:19:21+01:002009-03-19T09:19:21+01:00 <p>It was my daughter's birthday yesterday. I had meant to bake a cake, but as my youngest was off school with a sore throat, I really didn't get around to it. We had a Mr Kipling Giant Fondant Fancy, which looked good but, unfortunately, tasted nothing like one. Oh Well, I suppose expecting that would be like expecting a Bagpuss Cake to taste like boiled cat. If Heston made it, it probably would.</p> <p>Still, I made carbonara for tea, as that is one of the few meals she will eat. </p> <p>With many things I am able to turn the tide with positive thinking; I read this morning, "practice being fictional." It works as a way of improving situations, but it needs great strength of mind. All minds are creating lives, jostling and often anxious. When all work for a common purpose things are easier, and if ones own unique view is weaker, it is hard to bring about its desires. Unique may not be "wrong," just different, the "still small voice of calm," in the midst of a storm.<br> So, with this child who has been, up to now, a faddy eater, I must create a statement: "She is a happy, with a healthy, varied appetite!" As freaky as it sounds, these things work. When I was irritated with people, and really felt it, it perpetuated their irritant qualities. When I paused for breath, focused on their good points and affirmed positively, the relationships changed for the better, especially if I also affirmed that I was interested only in the highest good.</p> <p>So, I have happy, healthy,helpful chidren, who are always polite and loving towards each other! God help us!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/19/that-still-small-voice-of-calm-5786055/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-16:/2009/03/16/happy-monday-5765989/puredawn2009-03-16T13:25:54+01:002009-03-16T13:25:54+01:00 <p>What a beautiful day it is! It is somewhat strange to see people out in t-shirts and flip-flops, however; it may be sunny but it is still rather cold. The old people, resplendent in hats and scarves, obviously agree with me.<br> Our night was rather unsettled, as some young friends arrived yesterday evening with copious amounts of Carling, a small can of gin and tonic and a bottle of vodka. I left them to it, but was periodically disturbed through the night. I am left with two of them, in a deep sleep in the front room.<br> Chatting to one of them,who is proceeding with a custody battle for his 5 month old son, alerts me to more of the problems facing today's youngsters. Though he wanted to be involved with his child, his attempts were shunned. He discovered his son's existence on Facebook. What a society we have created!<br> I try to talk to them about visualisation and manifestation to improve relationships and situations but some are already too jaded to realise they can have more control of their lives.<br> Though it can be therapeutic to discuss our trials and tribulations, it is vital to feel the emotion and release it, giving the freedom to focus on the positive outcomes we desire. For this young man, I say imagine when you do have parental responsibility, welcome in the situation you desire, rather than rallying against what you detest. We get what we think about. Dwelling on the negative keeps it close.<br> My daily affirmation begins with the words "I AM HAPPY." Immediately, a sense of joy engulfs me.<br> So, Happily, I must go out now, off to school for a meeting. From the happy state, I am stronger, more in tune with the positive flow, and things just feel better. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/16/happy-monday-5765989/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-10:/2009/03/10/carrots-5729179/puredawn2009-03-10T12:10:20+01:002009-03-10T12:10:20+01:00 <p>Alex had an audition in London last week for the Musical Theatre Academy, a new organisation. I was as pleased as punch when the letter arrived to herald her success, as was she. However, the 2 year course costs £12k per year and, because it is new and therefore not accredited, she has to find the money herself.</p> <p>My passion for the performing arts is intense. I have seen, many times, how the arts can transform people in many ways. However, I firmly believe that something needs to be done to make the pursuit of the arts available to everyone, and not just the well-to-do. </p> <p>Everyone has a talent, but it is often locked away. Creating opportunities for these latent talents to grow is vital. How much better do you feel after a song and a dance? I know I feel amazing. Alex's desire to study Theatre is not because she wants fame and fortune, but because a paerformer is what she is. She is expressing herself on stage, while bringing pleasure to those who watch.</p> <p>I was chatting to my Mother on the phone, and she described the situation as cruel, tempting youngsters- and there are others, to want to do things and then taking the carrot away at the last moment. I'm not sure what we're going to do about this, but I am going to do my utmost to ensure Ali gets her carrot. We shall be seeking out bursaries, organising concerts, because we are determined to make this happen.Everyone should be able to follow their dreams, after all. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/10/carrots-5729179/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-03-05:/2009/03/05/the-freedom-to-dance-5700420/puredawn2009-03-05T20:39:31+01:002009-03-05T20:44:13+01:00 <p>There was a dance club after school today. We could watch it through the window that divides the hall and the reception area. The 10 and 11 year olds were learning a routine to "We're all in this together," from High School Musical, and they were loving it. Several of the parents commented that they wished there was a dance club they could go to.</p> <p>It is very infectious, watching something like that; a few weeks ago I watched a ballet with friends. When we left the Opera House we were very tempted to pirouette across the road. It was wonderful. </p> <p>As a child, of course, I adored dancing and, fortunately, my body was extremely cooperative. As an adult, my joyful experiences of dance have been at 5 Rhythms sessions and Barefoot Boogies. Clubbing, though I tried it a few times, is spoiled by alcohol. Freedom of spirit through movement, I find easier to attain when my brain is clear. </p> <p>If I need an emotional lift I often find dancing is really effective. With the right music, eyes closed, letting myself attune to the sounds and move freely is so therapeutic. Any frustrations can be shaken free, and a real sense of happiness, of letting go, occurs. </p> <p>A favourite song of mine is Sting's "They Dance Alone."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_jDiDya5j4 which describes dancing as a protest.</p> <p>Fortunately, we have the freedom to dance; no matter what lifehas in store, we can dance, we can lift ourselves or, as performers,lift others.</p> <p>How lucky we are.<img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/195/3291195_fd2ddd45bf_m.jpeg" alt="ballet" vspace="5" hspace="5"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/196/3291196_a73f9ab7fb_m.jpeg" alt="ballet2" vspace="5" hspace="5"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/03/05/the-freedom-to-dance-5700420/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-02-06:/2009/02/06/the-ebay-freeway-5518710/puredawn2009-02-06T12:36:47+01:002009-02-06T12:36:47+01:00 <p>Remind me never to go to an auction. I have bought a few things on ebay recently; I am practically on first name terms with my postman! Although, to be fair, my change of health has led to a change of body shape. Fally-downy trousers are just annoying, so I am justified in these recent additions to my wardrobe.</p> <p>I used to find that motorway driving was bad for me. After a few years' driving experience I left the secure feeling of the inside lane and started to overtake....and overtake.....increasing in speed, faster and faster, caught up with the adrenalin rush of speed. On one such occasion I heard a voice from nowhere telling me, with absolute certainty: "Slow down!" Fortunately, I heeded the advice of my guardian angel and put my foot on the brake. About a minute later I saw, in the distance, one of the cars that had sped by me collide with the barrier and spin in the road, where several other vehicles ploughed into it.</p> <p>Bidding is, I find, much like overtaking. My eye is on the prize, and I recheck and rebid. It gets quite exciting, though I have now decided on a more sensible approach, entering a low bid, followed by the use of the "maximum bid" facility, deciding from an unemotional stance what I can actually afford, then resisting the temptation to revisit the site to see if I am still in the lead.</p> <p>Life is like that, in many ways. There are things that I wish for- not necessarily material- that, if I wish for them once, turn up out of the blue. The things to which I form an attachment, however, may be delayed by my anxiety. Joy is the accelerator, Fear is the brake.</p> <p>Happy Driving! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/02/06/the-ebay-freeway-5518710/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-02-05:/2009/02/05/a-load-of-rubbish-5515168/puredawn2009-02-05T20:23:51+01:002009-02-05T20:23:51+01:00 <p>Next week the school is having a D&T week, so we've been asked to take in loads of boxes, scraps and the like for the children to use. It's brilliant! We had to put out hardly any rubbish today. The whole exercise has made the family much more aware of our waste.<br> I'm thinking I may make the effort to go to The Enterprise Centre in town where there is a place that sells dry ingredients from bins, giving you a paper bag (recyclable) rather than a plastic packet destined for landfill. Later this evening I shall sort through my tea- cupboard and get rid of all the boxes while there is a demand for them.<br> We found a new shop in town that sells locally made items and produce, another treasure trove. Vegetables, dairy, bread and cakes, as well as toys, soap and shopping bags were all there, and much more besides; I shall give it my support. This oasis was discovered thanks to the snow. School was cancelled, so we took a trip to the beach in the morning and joined the library in the afternoon. On the way there we passed "Roots and Boots," and decided to take a look on the return journey. We bought some cakes, and were given an extra one because my daughter demonstrated her mathematical skill when I asked her how much the delicacies would cost us.So, we had 8 cakes for £3.20 and one extra.<br> For a year or so I have had an organic box of fruit and vegetables delivered by Abel & Cole. I enjoy it, and it has encouraged us to try new things, in season. However, I am wondering whether to support local traders more although, in its favour, the company sources some items locally, so that some items on their web-site are only available in some areas.<br> I was pleased to see on our local news that there has been a "Seed Swap," in Brighton, where growers can exchange seeds of lesser known varieties, preserving them for the future. I once read that large retailers are only allowed to sell fruits and vegetables that have some kind of licence, which costs the producer money. Therefore, there has been a trend to sell fewer varieties. Another example of legislation gone mad! swapping seeds, not selling them, bypasses this to an extent.<br> I must admit that I feel less inclined to buy mass produced food these days. Home-made things excite the taste-buds far more than packet foods. Just before Christmas I was in a supermarket queue watching fellow shoppers unloading their almost identical trolleys: Paxo stuffing, Birds custard, Bisto gravy...I confess to feeling a little sad at the idea that everyone would be sitting down on the same afternoon consuming exactly the same items. I like to eat new things, sample new flavours. I have become aware of my body needing a variety of things and different times, craving flavours and textures that would, I believe, have some effect on my health. It is far easier to do so if my food options are open, as well as my mind.</p> <p>So, I am planning to overhaul my shopping habit inspired, initially, by Design and Technology. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/02/05/a-load-of-rubbish-5515168/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-01-31:/2009/01/31/i-had-a-birthday-5483459/puredawn2009-01-31T23:19:19+01:002009-01-31T23:19:19+01:00 <p>This week I had a birthday.</p> <p>Some of the gifts that affected me most were those that were made especially for me: a decoupage card featuring Dr Who and me outside the tardis, for example, and an origami bouquet. As a child I couldn't wait to earn enough money to be able to buy presents for friends and family. Now, however, I really appreciate the time and the care that went into creating something unique.</p> <p>One of my daughters made me a wonderful cake upon which she placed a single candle, which was very apt, as it is my mission to "youth," rather than "Age." To assist with that, my nephew thinks I look 10 years younger than my actual age, which actually means I look younger than his mother- How pleased I was to hear that! </p> <p>As I have a new phone several birthday greetings went to another of my children who has inherited my old one. She immediately deleted them and told me a couple of days later, once she had forgotten most of the names. Never mind. All in all, it was a lovely birthday week.</p> <p>For me,the Birthday is more to do with having a day of celebrating Me, than with commemorating age. Surely everyone should have at least one day a year to be special...or extra special, perhaps, as we all need to remember that we are special, unique, loved and lovely- every single day. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/01/31/i-had-a-birthday-5483459/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-01-29:/2009/01/29/love-or-money-5471341/puredawn2009-01-29T20:49:17+01:002009-01-29T20:49:17+01:00 <p>Today I had my car MOT'd. To my relief, having replaced a bulb, a blade and the number plate, it has been deemed roadworthy for another year. Having my focus on cars, I pondered the fate of the UK steel industry which is, I hear, suffering due to lack of demand for new vehicles, among other things. I am, of course, sympathetic to those who face uncertain futures because of this. However, I also feel that in the big picture, current events may be for the greater good.</p> <p>There has evolved a throwaway society in which nothing seems built to last. Cars, fridges, carrier bags, shampoo bottles, even families fall victim to the culture that encourages one and all to toss away and upgrade. Maybe the time has arrived to take stock, to repair and restore, to value things and move away from the urge to get new and, by implication, better ones. </p> <p>The news and current affairs programmes are obsessed with money, with the state of the economy. People are valued by their possessions and earning potential, it seems, more than by their acts of kindness and generosity of spirit. </p> <p>Pursuit of money, worrying about money, causes so much heart-ache and distress. We are born penniless, we take no pennies into spirit with us, yet for three score years and ten it is a major preoccupation. Just maybe, collapsing economies, currencies and the like will lead to changes in society that will lead to the only real measure of a person being on a scale of Love. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/01/29/love-or-money-5471341/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-01-15:/2009/01/15/18-5381022/puredawn2009-01-15T11:19:58+01:002009-01-15T11:19:58+01:00 <p>Earlier this week my son reached the grand age of 18. We had a family gathering to celebrate, which was lovely. There is something amazing about being surrounded by loved ones united in celebration, a warmth and joy that feels totally peaceful. In the past there have been periods of difficulty within the family, but we are now all, it seems, moving forward once more, healed and together.</p> <p>We ate pizza, the guest of honour's favourite food. Shortly after he had requested the pizza, I discovered that Tesco were doing half-price Pizza express pizza, so they were delicious and economical!The only difficulty there was trying to cook so many at once. I squeezed two onto each shelf, which was fine except for the outer edges where there was less support, causing the dough to slump downwards during the 12 minute cooking process and drip cheese onto the floor of the oven. Fortunately they did not retain that contortion, and flattened out on the plates. </p> <p>The candles were divided between two cakes, and were successfully extinguished while the guests pulled party poppers. Nobody knew what they were, as they were gold and conical, displayed in a tall vase in the middle of the table, so they survived until the end of the meal. We also had crackers, courtesy of Tesco Sale- only £1.05 per box! Unfortunately, one of the guests was hit on the head by some nail clippers flying out of a cracker, but she was unscarred.</p> <p>I suppose I should feel old, as I now have two grown-up children. I don't. I feel more or less the same as I did when I left school. I think part of that is due to my restored health, though, which has definitely given me a new lease of life. when I left school, I believed I could do anything, a feeling I'm trying to keep alive in my children and myself. Life is all about belief. If we believe we can do anything, we really can. Life experience has proved that to me, time and time again. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/01/15/18-5381022/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2009-01-05:/2009/01/05/2009-a-very-good-year-5326003/puredawn2009-01-05T14:50:22+01:002009-01-05T14:50:22+01:00 <p>Well, it's 2009 already: HAPPY NEW YEAR!</p> <p>Tomorrow it will be epiphany, the twelfth day after Christmas, when we should be truly full of Christ Spirit and equipped to face the coming year. </p> <p>Me, I am raring to go, ready to make this year action-packed and exciting. I spent New Year's Eve making my Vision Board, a pictorial representation of my intentions for this year, and charged it up over the transition from 2008 to 2009, by praying and meditating. For some time I have known how effective this is, but I was again reminded in the run up to Christmas.</p> <p>It is a habit of mine to clip little pictures from magazines. I use them to decorate my poetry books, mainly. I had found a tiny picture of a Buddha face; it was rectangular, and only showed the main features: the eyes, nose an mouth, and some hair. I cut it out an placed it on the window sill in the dining room. Around the same time, I was being asked what I would like for Christmas, but could think of nothing specific. It is a difficult question to answer.</p> <p>To my delight and surprise, one of my gifts was a Buddha face, exactly like the one in the picture, but large. The universe had delivered me what I had asked for, unconsciously. I shall hang it in the dining room beside the window.</p> <p>That is, for me, a powerful example of Cosmic Ordering, The Secret, The Teachings of Abraham at work, the most recent of many, but significant enough to enable me to construct my Vision Board with conviction and care.</p> <p>So, my plan for 2009 is hanging in my bedroom.</p> <p>Happy New Year, All Year!<br> xx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2009/01/05/2009-a-very-good-year-5326003/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-12-14:/2008/12/14/festive-food-5217946/puredawn2008-12-14T11:00:35+01:002008-12-14T11:00:35+01:00 <p>Festivities continue!</p> <p>A family friend took us out for a Christmas meal last night, which was a real treat. Being a carvery, we queued first, with the girlies being a little shy and unsure of what to do. At last Av stepped in, trail-blazer that she is, and ordered first. The chef proficiently carved the meat, and handed out yorkshire pudding and stuffing, before she helped herself to vegetables.Inspired by her confidence, her sisters followed suit.</p> <p>It was a pleasure to have two of the teens with us. My eldest had double-booked and was at her work "do," and my son was otherwise engaged and, he has informed me, he doesn't "really like roast." That was news to me. Children's dietary preferences are exceedingly fickle. </p> <p>when the meal was over we played a couple of games, story telling and taking turns to remove something from the table so everyone could guess what had gone. Nan, at one point, removed a stray pea. she's quite a character, taking time to make an origami bra as well.</p> <p>I am hoping our own Christmas dinner will be just as good, and that the children will be as sociable. At home, with the lure of tv, they may not sit for so long. This year we have relatives visiting for lunch on both Christmas and Boxing days; our long table will be full, with 11 occupied chairs- 3 seats more than usual! I am totally accustomed to cooking for many, so I'm not really sure why Christmas dinner seems so different.</p> <p>I was invited into school for their Christmas feast. That is the one day of the year when the children sit and have their meal brought to them. All the staff get involved, the tables are laid with cloths and crackers, and Father Christmas sits by the tree with a large bag of sweets to hand to the children as they leave. Finally, when the children have returned to class, the kitchen and playground staff sit together for their own Christmas lunch.</p> <p>The combination of exhaustion and anticipation is always interesting to observe. The children are so excited; December itself sees them on a permanent high. </p> <p>It is, after all, a time to Celebrate Light, physically and spiritually. The Christian festival reminds us of God's pure, unconditional love. The Solstice marks the point from which the days begin to lengthen, light returning to our lives, and with it, the warmth of the sun, the heart of our group of planets. While food sustains our tummies, the light sustains us in many ways; light, and love, are the things that keep our spirits alive, after all.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/12/14/festive-food-5217946/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-12-09:/2008/12/09/dreaming-of-a-perfect-christmas-5189317/puredawn2008-12-09T12:50:26+01:002008-12-09T12:50:26+01:00 <p>This morning found us making a Christmas hat before school, Little One's homework, ready to wear to the school Christmas lunch tomorrow. We have made Crackers, too, ready for our own Christmas Day Feast.I went to Hawkins Bazaar and bought assorted small items, things that will be kept, to fill the snappy little tubes. So often the contents of bought crackers are immediately discarded, making one wonder who on earth took the time and effort to create such tat.</p> <p>In my very first flat I went to Harrods and spent a fortune on exquisite decorations, but that was in the materialistic Eighties, before I turned to more spiritual ways of being. I am trying to restore to my home the christmas spirit, where family and fun are more important than the present pile. It is having a mixed effect on the kids, though. The three little ones and I spent Saturday evening making orange pomanders, only for my son to come in and complain that we'd "ruined the oranges!" At that stage, I was more concerned about the state of my fingers: pushing cloves into oranges is harder than I thought. </p> <p>This afternoon the school choir are going to an old folks' home to sing carols, something they have not done for many years. My daughter Av is a little scared of going, but I have assured her it will be lovely.When I was in my teens a group of us performed a panto at the convent nursing home, and we had a wonderful reception. In that one, I played the witch, a stark contrast to my other panto experience, when I was Prince Peter in a version of Snow White. At that stage I wanted to be an actress, but circumstances did not allow me that. </p> <p>Today, however, my eldest daughter has her first audition for drama school. She has gone to London with a friend, for the audition in the morning and an afternoon in Camden. The sun is shining here on the coast; I hope it is shining in the city as well, blessing her on her special day.</p> <p>With my entire brood, I encourage them to dream big dreams and aim to make them real. Anything is possible, with faith and God's will, after all.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/12/09/dreaming-of-a-perfect-christmas-5189317/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-12-08:/2008/12/08/the-magic-of-christmas-5180643/puredawn2008-12-08T11:46:52+01:002008-12-08T11:46:52+01:00 <p>This evening we will be making hats for the school Christmas lunch. I suppose I should make one for myself, as I shall be there, enjoying sliced turkey and stuffing balls. It was my turn to open the advent calendar today; the girls woke me extra early to make sure it was done before school. </p> <p>We have beautiful weather today, with a clear blue sky and shining sun. Even though we have moved house, a diversion ensures my daily look at the sea which was, this morning, turquoise calmness and beauty. I was driving along, listening to Aled and Terry on the radio, and was waved to by two children from the school, smiling and happy. I thought back to the first time I met them, when they were in nursery. They had only just started there, and sat together like a pair of frightened rabbits, speechless and serious in what was to them, at that time, an alien environment. I tried to encourage them to play, but they stared at me, huddled together. And today, they are confident and lively, blooming as they grow. In two years they will be preparing for their first Christmas at secondary school.</p> <p>One thought triggers another, and I could sit and reminisce now, recalling my own childhood Christmases. They seemed so magical. </p> <p>Making Christmas magical is now my job. What a beautiful task to be set! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/12/08/the-magic-of-christmas-5180643/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-12-06:/2008/12/06/festivie-friday-5171503/puredawn2008-12-06T12:44:25+01:002008-12-06T12:44:25+01:00 <p>We had the Christmas Fair at achool yesterday afternoon. My girls were extremely lucky on the tombola; we now have new mugs, a fluffy reindeer, a galileo's thermometer and a photograph album, as well as a large jar of sweets. Father Christmas wandered around with a sack of sweets, cheerfully ho-ho-hoing. </p> <p>The event was opened by the Mayor and his wife, who then asked for a tour of the school. The children were very excited to see these visitors. In one classroom a child exclaimed "Are you the Queen?" In year 4 a thoughtful girl stood beside me and marvelled at their wealth. I thought she was referring to their gold regalia, but she whispered that they had beautiful clothes and the Mayor's suit was really lovely. "We are very lucky to have them with us!" she announced.</p> <p>The festive season is now in full swing. We have our trees up and an advent calendar- chocolateless- on the table. It pops up, and each window reveals a small decoration for the tree standing in the middle. We have various christmas performances to enjoy, starting with "The Big Christmas Sing" at the Congress Theatre this week. </p> <p>This afternoon I shall finish writing my christmas cards. </p> <p>Ho Ho Ho</p> <p>xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/12/06/festivie-friday-5171503/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-12-04:/2008/12/04/rejuvenation-5161653/puredawn2008-12-04T12:09:35+01:002008-12-04T12:09:35+01:00 <p>It is now a little over two months since my brief stay in hospital. I must say that I now feel like a different person, and people seem to be commenting on the change in me. I am now able to walk at speed which, having spent some time creeping around at a snail's pace, is wonderful. I had felt condemned to a sorry life feeling, at the very young age of 42, about twice that. I had thought I was unfit, and blamed myself. acquiring an exercise bike did nothing to help, as I was exhausted in a matter of moments.</p> <p>Anaemia had left me with an uncommon lack of oxygen in my blood- nothing to do with laziness, merely self-neglect. New blood and a daily tablet have given me the energy to take better care of myself. The new me was even called "glamorous" last week!</p> <p>As a mother it had become easy to devote myself to my children. As a lone parent one finds oneself over-compensating, at times, and trying to be both Mother and Father. That is all well and good, as long as the children realise the benefit of independence and activity. I encourage mine to take care of themselves, doing things like laundry and preparing their own light meals. My eldest are often shocked to find that their friends have no awareness of home economics.</p> <p>So, I learned the lesson: LOOK AFTER YOURSELF WELL!</p> <p>I urge all my friends to do the same. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/12/04/rejuvenation-5161653/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:beautiful.blog.co.uk,2008-11-26:/2008/11/26/nana-5110934/puredawn2008-11-26T11:59:18+01:002008-11-26T11:59:18+01:00 <p><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/639/3018639_bc72204386_m.jpeg" alt="ScannedImage-2" vspace="5" hspace="5"></p> <p>My grandmother was, I thought, beautiful. The old photographs I have are treasured dearly.</p> <p>I didn't really know her for very long, as she lived in Cyprus when I was tiny, and died when I was 9. However, when I was about 5 we lived with my grand-parents, and became very close. She was very creative, dress-making and knitting, gardening and baking. It was a lovely way to live, learning traditional ways.</p> <p>Modern society has little time for such skills. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/2008/11/26/nana-5110934/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>