You never encounter the same person twice, for everyone perpetually changes second by second. This even applies to parent and child, husband and wife, brother and sister. You are wrong in grabbing the past image of a person and thinking that what you see now is the same person you saw in the past. Of course, it is also a fact that you too are changing second by second. You should live with this fact strongly imprinted on your mind: All human beings are constantly renewing themselves.
from The Golden Key to Happiness, by Masami Saionji
It is so easy to put labels onto people, and then to see how the labels affect them. I had a friend who, a few years ago, having completed his NLP course, responded to any situation with: Perception is Projection. Our thoughts about a situation, or a person, we project onto it, or them, and they then react to them- Amazing, perhaps, but true! Before I go into a situation I try to remember to visualise it beforehand, to see it as fruitful, pleasant, if not joyful, and it is. If I hold negative feelings about a situation, then it becomes negative. If I forget, then it becomes haphazard, and I am like a little boat bobbing about on the water, prey to the current and turbulence.
With my children, there is a tendency for them to hold perceptions about each other- "She is always so lazy!" they say about one, perpetuating the myth, almost. When I was bemoaning to a friend the details of Mr Ex's failures as a parent, he continued to be unsupportive. Almost as soon as I saw him doing his best to help, though he had not actually heard my words, his behaviour altered.
Our self perception must also be affected by our thoughts about ourselves. We can do anything if we believe we can, be anything, have anything. With self-belief, creative thought and application, life becomes truly magical!
I have a little box that I put "requests" in- pictures, post-its, something to "ground" what I would like to achieve, or receive- I just put it in, pop the lid on, know it will happen and Voila! It takes the worry out of things, even turns it into a game, and situations just turn around, change and improve. I Love it!
So true. The art of Zen as I understand it is to make each moment fresh as those seen / lived for the first time, each time. Most of the time we are lazy and come up with categories for people and then are surprised when they do something we don't expect. But that is great, that is real. I think Frederick Pohl wrote a good SF book on this called 'The World of Null A'. Very thought provoking post.